Super Eames, Mr Bond, Jack Dawson, and Ariadne
by don't-tell-me-not-to-live
Summary: Lesson of the Day: Never let Eames choose your Halloween Costume. Because you will end up looking like a slutty French Maid. Slight Arthur/Ariadne. Rated T for mild language and pelvic thrusts.


**HAPPY (belated) HALLOWEEN!**

**I know I said that I'd post this yesterday, but I was out till the wee hours of the morning trick-or-treating so I'm posting it now. **

**Hope you like it! It's (somewhat) crack-y and isn't really an Arthur/Ariadne fic, but there's a crapload of Eames!**

**Read and Review, lovelys!**

**

* * *

**

Super Eames, Mr. Bond, Jack Dawson, and Ariadne (whose costume did NOT come from a strip club's wardrobe room, thankyouverymuch)

"Darling, I know your face is terrifying enough as it is, but you can't go trick-or-treating in your office attire! Where's your Halloween spirit?"

Arthur scowled. "I _have_ spirit. I'm supposed to be dressed as James Bond."

Eames stared at him. "Bond? Seriously, Arthur? First of all, Bond is British, so the fact that you Americanized such a classic icon shames me. And second of all, Bond wore black suits, not gray."

The point man glanced down at his pale-gray suit, then back up at his colleague. "Screw you, Eames. I'm a fucking _awesome_ Bond. You're just jealous that you didn't think of it yourself, and had to go trick-or-treating dressed as…" he furrowed his eyebrows, studying his companion's costume. "..What _are_ you supposed to be, anyway?"

Eames scoffed and placed his hands on his tight-clad hips. "Isn't it obvious? I'm Super Eames!" He pointed to the huge, red 'E' emblazed on the front of his dark blue spandex shirt. "See?"

"Super Eames?" Arthur asked skeptically. "_That's_ why you're wearing your underwear over your pants? I thought you'd just forgotten how to dress yourself again…"

The forger smirked and began to thrust his pelvis. "Oh, darling, you know you love the view."

Arthur began to protest, but the warehouse door suddenly swung open and a familiar voice rang out, cutting him off.

"Eames, if you keep sexually harassing my boyfriend, I'm going to shove my stiletto-d heel against your blue tighty-whiteys."

Eames ceased his obscene hip movements and frowned. "Leave it to the architect to discover my kryptonite."

"You're damn right I discovered it," Ariadne replied, walking toward the two men. Her frilly black skirt rose with each step, but she didn't notice until she saw Arthur openly gawking and Eames' trademark grin.

"I simply adore that outfit on you, sweetheart."

The architect blushed and tugged her skirt back in place. "That's because _you_ chose the damn costume. Why the hell did you made me dress up as a French maid, Eames? Not only is it degrading, _but_ it's unoriginal and cliché. Plus, it's fucking 75 degrees outside."

"It's not cliché, love. It's classic. Every _dame_ _Française_ deserves to wear this costume once in their lifetime. And if you get chilly, I'm sure Mr. Double-oh-Seven over here wouldn't object to warming you up." Eames chuckled as Arthur, who had finally snapped out of his reverie, turned a faint crimson from embarrassment.

"I guess," Ariadne sighed, "But I wish you'd bought me a costume that didn't look like you stole it from the wardrobe room of that Cat Scratch Club two streets away." She pushed past her colleagues and walked towards her desk, picking up the scale dreamscape model she'd been working on earlier in the day. "So what time are Cobb and the kids getting here? Do you think I have enough time to finish this model up?"

Arthur checked his watch. "They should be here any minute, so I wouldn't bother doing any work…"

"Bet you ten Euros that Cobb's still gonna dress up as Jack this year…" Eames called, spinning around in circles to watch his cape fan out behind him.

"Jack? Jack who?" Ariadne asked, placing her dreamscape down.

Eames had begun to make 'whooshing' sound effects, so Arthur decided to answer her.

"When Mal and Cobb first started dating," he explained "the first movie they saw together was 'Titanic'. So every Halloween, Cobb was dress as Jack, with Mal as his Rose."

Ariadne raised an eyebrow. "Umm…okay? That's a little…"

"Strange?" Eames offered, trying to regain his sense of balance. "Odd? Disturbing? Yes, I believe it is. But, you have to admit, they were adorable together."

"Who were adorable together?" a voice called out. Ariadne, Arthur, and Eames turned to see Cobb walking toward them, looking very much like an older Jack Dawson.

Ariadne bit her lip and decided not to comment on his costume, focusing her attention instead on Philippa and James.

"Auntie Ari! Auntie Ari! Guess what _I'm_ supposed to be!"

The architect smiled and picked up Cobb's little girl. "Hmm…" she mused mockingly. "Are you a…princess?"

Philippa nodded happily. "Daddy helped me with my costume!"

"Oh, did he?"

Arthur chuckled along with his girlfriend until he felt something tug at his pants. He looked down to see James staring up at him, his bright blue eyes wide with curiosity.

"Hey, Jay-Jay," Arthur said fondly, picking up the four year-old. He took note of the fuzzy green costume the little boy was wearing and smiled. "And what are _you_ supposed to be?"

"A dimoswaur…" James murmured, sucking his thumb.

"A dinosaur?" Arthur asked. "That's great, James! I'm sure you'll get a lot of candy!"

James smiled. "You weally think so, Uncle Awthur?"

"I _know_ so," The point man replied, hugging his godchild close to his body.

Eames huffed in exasperation. "Not that this moment isn't lovely and whatnot, but" he pointed to his watch. "It's almost seven, and all the good candy will be gone in thirty minutes. Let's hurry up now, c'mon!" He ran ahead to the door and flung it open, his cape billowing behind him as he fled into the night. Arthur and Ariadne quickly followed, carrying James and Philippa (respectively) out the door.

Cobb stood silently, watching them leave, before shaking his head in amusement and headed after them.

This was going to be one hell of a Halloween.

* * *

**Hope y'all had fun reading this! I sure had fun writing it. XD**

**Oh, and I'll give whoever can figure out what musical I got the 'Cat Scratch Club' from a big bear-hug and a highfive for being awesome.**

**Leave a review! (hands pieces of candy to everyone who clicks the review button)**

**-MusicMakesMeWannaCRAZYDANCE**


End file.
